FORGIVENESS
If you have intense and frequent negative thoughts about the past, it’s likely that these thoughts will block any positive emotions like contentment and satisfaction. Sometimes it might seem like there are good reasons for not forgiving and for holding on to bitterness. After all, it would seem that if we hold onto the resentment we are less likely to be hurt by them again. By learning about what forgiveness really is about, maybe it won’t be so scary to forgive after all.
To get an indication of how ready you are to forgive someone or something, you might want to take the Forgiveness Quiz on the Greater Good Magazine website.
WHAT IS FORGIVENESS?
Forgiveness is the act of letting go of anger or resentment to welcome positive change in your life. More often than not, it’s about coming to terms with the past and shifting your thoughts on what happened so you can release yourself from the pain of the experience.
WHAT IS NOT FORGIVENESS?
Remember, forgiveness isn’t necessarily about being okay with what the other person did, but more so about forgiving yourself or accepting what happened and releasing those attachments to suffering so YOU can be free. Maybe you’re forgiving yourself for not knowing any better, or for wanting love and having certain expectations. Maybe it’s accepting whatever happened to you, which has given you invaluable information that you’re grateful to have now. It’s not about saying what that person did was okay.
It’s also not about welcoming that person back into your life, if that’s not healthy for you. If you want to forgive someone and have a relationship with them, perhaps this time the relationship has stronger boundaries. You don’t deserve abuse, so ask yourself if it’s necessary for the person to be in your life after forgiving the experiences you went through.
WHY IS FORGIVENSS SO IMPORTANT?
Read the full article here.