Challenging Negative Thoughts

In addition to forgiveness, challenging your negative thoughts about the past can be helpful. By challenging these memories, you might realize that the way you think about the event is not actually “correct” or accurate, and that this faulty thinking is making you feel negatively about something that actually deserves neutral or even positive feelings.

Sometimes, trying to understand people’s motives or why they acted a certain way can help you have more compassion for what the person did. For example, if you thought you weren’t loved growing up because your mom or dad never really spent time with you, maybe looking to see how they were raised and how they were shown love growing up can help you understand how they tried to express love to you. This can help you challenge the negative thought about not being loved because you are, the love is just given to you in ways you don’t really recognize or aren’t in the ways you really need.

For additional information, check out the Challenging Negative Self-Talk and Common Thinking Errors articles.

Find support. Talking to people you trust and respect about the way you feel can be helpful, particularly if you talk to people who have experienced a situation similar to the one you’re in. Try talking to a family member, friend, teacher or counselor.

If you’d rather talk to someone confidentially, try Lines for Life’s YouthLine at 1-877 968-8491. This hotline is free and staffed by trained volunteers who are available 24/7 to talk to you. They also have texting and online chat options available.

Keep a diary. Not only is a gratitude journal important, but having a place to put all your thoughts out of your mind can be really beneficial. You might be experiencing a whole lot of thoughts and feelings about the past, and it might help you keep track by writing them down. Once you identify negative feelings about the past, challenge them. See if you can re-write history.

Remember that the way you think about the past will influence the way you feel about it, and you can control this! Try out some of the suggestions, and see if you can re-shape the way you think and feel about the past, and increase your happiness.